“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts,we make the world.”

Dear readers, this is my last post for my blog “AUBG relationships.”  It feels like a lot of time passed since I wrote my first post, but there are still so many things I would like to talk about. I could go on and on …

It’s the end of the semester and yet again, I’m asking myself the same question. I’ve learned to meet my deadlines, I’ve learned how to use different programs, to be responsible, to be curious, and to ask questions in order to seek some responses.  Most importantly, technical details aside, I learned a lot about people; by interacting with them, understanding what they think about or how they view those things for that matter.  For each week, I was interviewing a person with a different perception about things; about love, relationships, marriage, culture… I can say that I am extremely happy that I chose this topic. Even though for some the topic of my blog might not sound that serious, or my blog posts might not have this intelligent approach on things- I am proud of what I did.  I have learned a lot not only about people, but I have learned a lot about me.  Even though I never wrote about it, I have found out what I love, what I like, what I fear, and what I want.  I have found out how I want my relationship to be, what I can or can’t forgive, what I am willing to go through for someone who I love and what not.

I have been convinced once again, that if you are truly in love with a person, nothing can set you apart.  I have seen happy AUBG-ers being in love. I have seen them get married. I’ve seen them suffering though the long distance, but then again as they say : “The happiness that they have when they are around their loved ones is much bigger than sadness when they are not around.”

I’ve learned that people can make mistakes in relationships. They can lie, they can cheat or they can do something else which can hurt you.  But then again- we all make mistakes. We should all learn to forget and move past it. Or if we decide not to forgive, we should learn how to let go. But if you love each other and “If you have strong feelings nobody, nothing can destroy the relationship.”

If we are lucky enough, we find our soul mate in college. We might go through hell, but love always finds a way. I am a believer; I believe that if given enough effort from both sides, anything can work out. I am happy and I respect those AUBG students who are giving effort to keep their relationships after college. Even though for “most- it doesn’t work out- for some it will.”

Does it matter that we speak different language or we have different skin color? “The understanding of relationship for me and him is the same. Opinions on responsibilities of boyfriend/girlfriend are absolutely the same.”  Diversity comes from many difference places, some people see it as skin color, and some people see it as a language we speak.  When I think about diversity dance comes to my mind. A group of dancers work together to create one, beautiful unit movement while each dancer hears and feels the music differently. Isn’t that what diversity is about? Bringing together a group of people to work together in order to create something wonderful.

And then last but not least, I was once again reminded about the importance of friendship. No matter what happens to you, if you are happy or sad, friends will always be there standing by your side. “Friends are the closest thing to family one can get in college” – and not only in college. They tend to become an essential part of your life.

I hope all of you who ever entered my blog, enjoyed reading whatever you saw, and more importantly learned something like I did. For the final video I decided to ask AUBG students couple of questions to find out what they think about.  I hope you enjoy watching it as much as I enjoyed working on it 🙂

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Relationships in College

In college friends get you through the day

How is a relationship defined after all? It’s a way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

In today’s post I will deviate a little bit from the main theme of my blog and write about another kind of relationships that I haven’t mentioned so far.  Not only do we date in AUBG but we also meet new people and some of them become our close friends. Friendship is a relationship between two people who hold mutual affection for each other.

Our friends are a big part of our daily lives and routines in AUBG. We are in the same environment with them 24/7. It’s not like high school where you go home every day when your school is done. We spend our free time with them, we eat together, and we study together. If we are lucky enough we are roommates.

When we come here as a freshman, for most students it’s the first time to be away from home for a long period of time. We all need our support system and none of us have a family around.

“Friends are the closest thing to family one can get in college.”

says Masha, a senior in AUBG.

Some people choose their friend circle from their home country; others find friends from other countries. Some people really stick together, while other friendships don’t withstand the pressure. After all most of us are little different here from what we are back home. We are thrown into college environment where we don’t know anyone so we adjust. Nevertheless, according to Nastya:

“after AUBG people tend to keep their friendships. Friendships are the only relationships that don’t have an expiration date.”

As in any other relationship, friends affect our personality especially at the period of maturing. College days take place during late adolescence period which I believe is a period when one forms the strongest friendship. College friendships can trump all others; perhaps of time spend together, or because of the phase in life, or maybe because of the environment. Nevertheless, I believe that these friendships are the ones that can last a lifetime.

Over the course of 4 years in AUBG we grow up and change our perception of things. Friends play a vital role in that change. These are the people that we spend the most time with and we learn to communicate without defying their point of view, accepting them and thus we learn to compromise. College is the only time in life when you can experience all of life with your friends for couple of years. You will be able to see not only the good, but also the bad and the ugly. And even if friendship goes south you still learn.

In college friends get you through the day.

Very nice post with me in it 😀

Inside of Creativity

The whole world is fighting agains drug use, while people of art, using their benefit of being different, abuse drugs in search of inspiration and new realms. Just imagine, last time you went to a art gallery and admired the vision and talent of the artist, you might have admired the influence of drug, not the person.

Would you treat Mona Lisa the same way, if you knew that Leonardo was under drugs, painting the picture? Numerous artist used drugs in search of new worlds and in desperate attempt to prove their talent and unconventional thinking, such as Rembo, Bodler, Thomas de Quincey and others.

I decided to ask a person who loves drawing, Natia, whether using drugs to create art can be justified. She had a definite and straightforward answer.

I do not think drugs are good and do not approve using them in search for inspiration.

In my opinion drugs do not reveal…

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Why college relationships don’t work outside of college?

Even though, I have mentioned it couple of times in other posts, I decided to elaborate more on the topic ‘Why college relationships don’t work outside of college” in this one.

I don’t know whether you’ll agree or disagree with me, dear readers, but in my opinion there is a very little chance of your college relationship turning into something else other than a memory of your college years.

I’m not saying that it means that we are not in love.  But is love enough? I don’t believe that by loving a person you will be able to fix the relationship and keep it going.  Love is not enough. If it was- a lot of people wouldn’t have the problems they do.  Love does not eliminate the problems and the difficulties that arise during and after college.  Lisar, a sophomore from Kosovo, thinks the same way:

“I believe that love is very important in a relationship but love is not everything. If you are in a long distance relationship, you are going to face a lot of difficulties that love simply can’t solve.”

What happens when we graduate and move to different countries? There are three options that one can choose from. Do we break up? Do we decide to engage ourselves in long distance relationships? Or do we move somewhere together?

Third option is rarely the case. Fresh out of college, we need to find ourselves, and start building our careers. It is very difficult to live with your loved one, in a different country and build yourself a successful career.  As for me for example, I might want to live in a different country at some point in my life, but I don’t want to spend my whole life in a different country, because I have a home where my family and friends are- and I don’t want to be living without having them in my life.

What if you choose to have a long distance relationship, what happens then?  As I’ve already discussed long distance relationship in my earlier post, I don’t feel the need of repeating myself again. I will say this though- it’s going to be very difficult and nerve wrecking.  Especially when you don’t know how it will work out.

“Long distance relationship from what I’ve seen doesn’t really work out. Maybe sometimes it does, but for the most- it doesn’t.”

Growing up in my country I’ve been taught three things: education then marriage and kids. Now, do I spend my years waiting for something that I won’t be sure will happen? I don’t know.

(I don’t believe that my parents will be okay with me marrying a foreigner. Even if they are, I know that they will not be okay with me living in a different country. I’m sure it’s the same for lots of people. )

This leaves me with option one- which is breaking up. It is difficult and thinking of it is really scary because I know that it’s going to happen to me in the nearest future. So some might wonder- why do we even try?

College relationships are memorable and beneficial. I know that couple of years from now, I will look back and it’s going to be a positive memory which is going to make me happy.  College relationships help us grow up and mature. We learn how to make better choices; we learn how to read people’s minds. Also, personally, I have learned a lot about myself through my relationships in AUBG. What I like, dislike, my faults, strengths or weaknesses.  I do believe that this relationship brings me more joy than it will ever bring me misery. So I prefer stressing out less about what is going to happen to me in the future. I live for today, after all the truth is all any of us have is today.

Lisar talking about the two possible choices after graduation of a multicultural couple 🙂

Midterm Post – What have I learned so far?

It’s halfway throughout the semester- therefore it’s time to answer the question: What have I learned so far?

For sure a lot. When I first came up with the idea of making a blog about relationships in college, I never realized that I would be that hard. I thought, hey I have lots of ideas on what topics to explore and investigate, so I went for it.

Needless to say that I believed my topic would be more interesting to the readers when compared to other blogs since it would be more personal. And people like knowing things about other people’s lives.

I forgot to take into account a ‘tiny’ detail. Even though people like other people’s stories- they don’t like sharing theirs, especially when I have microphones and video recorders stuck in their face. That’s the reason you don’t see any names in most of my posts. Most of my interviews are anonymous and my video shots are obtained for other students, who were willing to help out.

So far, I have managed to obtain information about long distance relationships, cheating, marriage, homosexuals, tips on being successful with girls in college, and effects of culture in a relationship.

My first post was about my own relationship. It was pretty hard and unsettling to write about myself. When I posted it, I should confess I was hoping that only Professor and couple of my classmates would read it, but not whole AUBG for God’s sake. But then on the other hand, it feels really good to know that I have more than 1 viewer. So, I want to thank everyone who ever visited my blog, for whatever reasons, and checked anything out! It makes me happy to see my blog statistics increase as each day goes by.

My second post was about long distance relationships (LDR). For this post, Tamo, a senior from AUBG, freely agreed to being interviewed. She shared her private story, and gave her opinion whether long distance relationship in college is worth trying. Long distance relationship requires a lot of determination, trust and self-discipline. It’s painful and difficult, so unless you are sure that you are doing the right thing:

“break up. You know life is going; you can meet hundreds of men or women in your live. It’s not something you have to do, if you feel like doing it just go for it. It’s going to be very hard. You are gonna cry a lot. Or get jealous when someone goes with your boyfriend or girlfriend.”

It was nice knowing that long distance relationship works for some students. And hopefully it gives hope to others.

My third post, which has the most views, is about cheating. My anonymous interviewee gave me his opinion about what cheating is and how he perceives it. I personally, am still shocked with his perception, and I have to admit his speech is pretty funny if you don’t take his words serious. But nonetheless, this is what I learnt that day: Albanian boys have the same opinion on cheating:

“THE GIRL CAN NOT CHEAT! Do you know why? Because a girl is a girl, how can a girl cheat? The girl is called a b*****[if she cheats]… she’s the bad one. But a guy is called Casanova. Do you see the difference? It’s a big one.”

I got some extreme answers to each question I asked, and basically what I learned is that guys in college believe that cheating on a girl is not a big issue [and of course I learnt not to mess around with Albanians because they will kill you].

Tazo and Tiko taught me that marriage in college is not a big change for couples who know each other well. That it doesn’t affect your academic career nor disallows you to miss out college experience.

“I’m doing lot of others stuff, other than studying, and it didn’t really do anything bad with my grades.”

My next post was about Homosexuals in college. Are they discriminated? Do they have problems since they are “different”? Yes they do. Even though AUBG community might not be really judgmental, we are still treat LGBTQIA (acronym for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual) youth differently.

“… it is tough, there is a lot of judgment and a lot of people don’t understand.”

This was the hardest post for me so far, since I had difficulties finding someone who would agree to talk to me about the problems he/she encountered in AUBG.

My other weekly post was about giving tips on being successful with girls in college. This person, again wanted to be anonymous therefore, I had to record someone else for the video. Interviewee told me that the steps he is describing in the post work for him most of the times. Basically this is what it comes down to – ignore a girl and she will chase you.

Last week I found out the culture does not affect a college relationship. Unless you date someone from a completely different culture and background- your college relationship is not going to be affected. This is what one student told me:

“The understanding of relationship for me and him is the same. Opinions on responsibilities of boyfriend/girlfriend are absolutely the same.”

I believe that there is a lot more interesting topics that I can cover in my blog. I think that I have learnt a lot from this class, not only about the topic that I’m writing about but also things that journalists are supposed to know. I have realized that I have to meet my deadlines. It doesn’t matter if I have technical issues, or I have problems finding someone willing to talk. I learnt how to edit audios and videos. I’ve got some basics on working for my blogs Facebook page, as well as twitter.

If you have any topics of your particular interest that you want me to address leave a comment and I’ll make sure to get to it. In the meantime, feel free to check the contents of my blog (if you haven’t yet done so).